Life has an interesting way of teaching someone a lesson; today it is about to teach Ivan Fontane a lesson. A lesson that says that he has to learn to take care of messes. For you see, life has already taught his twin that sometimes there are messes you can clean up, and sometimes you need to rely on someone else to do you a huge favor.
With a little bit of luck, and a little bit of help from the wind, Scarlett has been able to slip into the building. Knocking does not happen, since it's the middle of the afternoon and chances are that Ivan's at work. Instead, she's leaned up against his doorframe, knees bent, an art book open on her lap as she brushes up on other styles and techniques. A small gymbag is by her feet.
—
Life has an interesting way of teaching someone a lesson - today, it's about to teach Scarlett Fontane a lesson. A lesson that says she needs to stop acting like a blameless busybody. Now, under normal circumstances, Ivan probably wouldn't be able to be found at the apartment. After all, he does have an actual job to tend to, a life to deal with and so on and so forth. But for his lunchbreak today, Ivan has decided to be responsible. Which means, he's decided to head out and buy a couple of bags of hamster pellets. It is, therefore, with a bag from Petco and a song on his lips that Ivan steps out of the elevator and onto his floor, his keys dangling from his hand merrily.
The whistling stops once he spots his twin hanging out at his door. "…Uhh. What do you think you're doing?" He inquires, more confused then anything else.
—
"Waiting for you to get home," Scarlett says, the book on her lap being closed automatically. "Unless you would have preferred I dig up the spare key, and let myself in." Which she considered doing, but as she didn't want to waltz in on anything or happen upon any more lacy undergarments, she figured it best to wait in the doorway. Leaning forward, she stows the book in the gymbag, and slides the strap up over her shoulder.
"I need a favor."
—
"Oh." Isn't that quaint. Ivan's brows arch slightly in wry amusement and partial wariness. "Well…it's good to see you too, sister." This is is sarcastic drawl, given while the man brushes past her to swing open the door and step inside the apartment. Judging by the way he leaves the door open for Scarlett, there isn't anything he particularly wishes to hide. "I should have figured you'd want something from me. What is it, anyway?"
—
Once the door is open, it takes no time at all for Scarlett to get on her feet. "Believe me, Ivan, if there was any other way…" A hand whisks up to brush through her hair, and a long sigh is exhaled. "I just need you to deliver a parcel for me. I'd honestly do it myself, but it's complicated and I really don't want to make things any worse for the person who ordered the rings." Entering the apartment, she sets her bag down on the counter and then sends him a rather level look.
—
"So, you want me to be a delivery boy?" Ivan inquires, before letting out a loud laugh. "Geez, I know you like to pretend I'm an idiot and all, but I'd like to think I'm slightly overqualified to act as your own personal Fed-Ex." There is a faint smirk on his face, smug and bemused, as he places the hamster chow on the nearest counter to turn and stare at Scarlett, arms crossed over his chest casually. "Why can't you do it? Who is it, anyway?"
—
"A - I don't think you're an idiot, I think you're an ass," Scarlett says, her voice carrying just the slightest hint of a tease. "B - if it's going to be that much trouble, I'll pay you for your time." Even though she already makes a lot less money than he does. Rather than answer him right away, she focuses on the hamster chow. "Since when do you like pets?" Inevitably though, she'll have to answer the question. Turning to face him, arms hugging herself a little. "That guy from Absinthe. The one that hit you."
—
"Hm. Could've fooled me," Ivan argues with a shrug of his shoulders in a fairly casual manner. But then, he focuses on the animal issue. "Hey - that's not true. I loved Esther." Their little pet beagle, of course. "But…I don't, really. These are for Faith's pets - her hamsters. Or…I guess our hamsters, now. Speaking of, would you like a baby hamster come a couple of weeks? They're rather cuddly." With his hand running through the back of his head, he looks faintly sheepish at this point. "Mhmm? Robert, you mean? Alright, I guess. But, why can't you deliver it to him?"
—
"Esther doesn't count. She was part of the family." In the way that dogs everywhere are actually extended family members and not something with pine shavings that you have to clean twice a week. "Depends. Have you already conned Helen into taking one?" Scarlett lifts an eyebrow as she asks the question, giving him a strained sort of look. "Yeah, the Slugger. And because I can't."
—
"Well…yeah." The twins can at least agree when it comes to Esther, and with that in mind the lad breaks out into a curvy smile at the thought of their beloved pet. "I have not conned anyone. She was here, and she could not resist their cuteness. But, I think, perhaps? Her future pet could sure use a buddy, though. You wouldn't want to split sisters up, would you?" But then, back to the actual topic of conversation. When she repeats, once again, that she couldn't possibly do so, he sobers a little. "Why not, Scarlett? You seemed to get along fine with him before. Almost too well, actually, considering the fact that you met him while he was physically assaulting me."
—
With that actual happy smile on his face, Scarlett can't help but reach out to ruffle his hair. "I was actually thinking about getting a dog for the shop." Then with the stroke of an idea in her mind, she flashes a charming smile at her twin. "I'll take one if you deliver the items for me." The hamster will likely be gifted to Helen, since rodents aren't her favorite creatures. "That is the problem." From out of her jacket comes her tensor bandaged wrist, and she gives her brother a look. "He's been giving me some self defense lessons, and it's apparent that there's more to it than just that. For chrissakes, the man's engaged." The unspoken, "and I don't want to turn into you", just sort of lingers there on there air for a moment.
—
"That'd be fairly cool. I was considering getting one earlier, but I don't have the time or space to really keep a dog. And especially with the rodents now…" Ivan admits, for once seeming to enjoy the general congeniality of their conversation. He doesn't even bother escaping the evil clutches of her ruffling, instead gracing her with an easy grin. "Ah, you know what? Deal. That'll only leave me with…eight more to get rid of, I think. Sweet. You know, I don't think I say this enough, but thank God we're not hamsters. Can you imagine popping out eleven kids in one go?"
But then she's explaining her predicament - and he's no longer smiling and amused and light-hearted. No, he's almost somber, his amusement draining away at the drop of a hat. He knew it, he called it when they all met at the bar. "More to it then…Robert, right? The one who…" Beat. "He's dating my girlfriend's twin. He's engaged, I saw her ring." Beat. "Are you sure, Scar? You might've been misreading the situation, taking his jests or whatever too seriously? People have done that with me before."
—
There will be talk of puppies, and painful hamster births later. Scarlett has likely never looked more serious. "I'm sure, considering that we damned near kissed. More than once." Drawing her eyes away from her brother, she moves over to the hamster food, reading the package silently for a moment. "And if that didn't make me sure at all, since that could have just been me, some stupid, drunk, loud-mouthed psychopathic, telepath bitch spouted it to an entire club full of people." Even still, there was prolonged discussion and another near kiss.
"Heh. Yeah, that would be painful, but women go on those fertility drugs and wind up with eight kids at once. I imagine it's much the same."
—
Ivan's entire expression darkens considerably, and he ends up furrowing his brows, his lips contorting into a purse of distaste. "Then, you're sure. Then I was right. He is a douchebag. I've got to talk to Faith. I've got to kick his fucking ass. Hope's a bitch. She's crazy, and absolutely psycho, but she doesn't deserve this. She's gone through so much, she doesn't deserve this." Suddenly, his attention flies over to Scarlett. "You don't deserve that either. Now…I'm not going to tell you to do the right thing. I never really have to, because you always do. But…yeah." And with a grunt, he stands up. Talking about multiple births no longer seems appealing to him.
—
This is partially why she didn't want to come to Ivan, but sending Helen with the delivery would make no sense. At least Robert knows Ivan. "Please don't make a huge deal out of this, Ivan? Nothing happened, and in the hopes of keeping it that way, I just wanted you to deliver a package. He's not a bad man, he's just dealing with a lot, and it's probably confusing to have someone be so nice to him right now." With all the blame soundly on her, she smiles. "I am doing the right thing. Getting you to bring over the items he purchased. Avoiding him until he gets his head on straight."
The conversation then takes a random turn, right out of nowhere. "So who's this Carter guy you work with?"
—
That was the wrong thing to say. Completely. His expression turns faintly furious at this point - highly frustrated. "Not a big deal? Are you fucking kidding me?" He asks, eyes narrowed in a speculative fashion. And then, when he speaks, his voice is devoid of compassion. "If that was me, you'd already have my cross built. You'd have taken out rental space on a nearby billboard to advertise what a dick I am. This is exactly what I talk about. And it's such a joke that you're willing to wave off his accountability just because you're flattered by his douchebagness."
Luckily, she brings up Carter, and the shock of it prompts the lad to get off of his tirade. "Carter - what? How do you know him?"
—
"Helen and I ran into him, quite literally, at the park one night when we were out walking." Scarlett doesn't mention the exchange of numbers at the bar though. "He's not your number one fan."
The bag of hamster food is put down, and she leans her elbows on the counter. "No, I wouldn't. If it were you, I'd be in there cleaning up your mess. What I'm saying, Ivan, is that there isn't a mess yet, and I'd rather there just not be." Then she looks at him directly. "I actually like the guy, not his flattery, but when I found out he was engaged, I told him to go talk to his fiance. I took a cab back to the studio." Her hand drops to the zipper of the gymbag, and the parcel is set onto the counter. "Flattery I can get from anyone."
—
Ivan is not buying it. He fixes Scarlett with an unwavering look. "If it were me, you would call me scum. You've pissed on me for less. At least I was never engaged. At least I've never cheated on anyone I was in a committed relationship with. And, it figures, you know." His smile turns humorless. Almost cruel. "You say you like him? It doesn't occur to you that he'd do the exact same thing to you, does it? That it could be you he's almost cheating on at any possible convenience. I just hope you don't harbor any delusions of him breaking up with his fiance to be with you." At this point, he shakes his head with disapproval.
—
"You've never been engaged, but you've been the other person a few times. Again nothing happened, and if you'd get over your own issues and listen to me, you'd know that I'm trying to stop anything from happening." Scarlett's eyes narrow into a cute little glare, her fingers flexing a little. "The so-called engagement ring is one from my shop. I'm surprised you didn't recognize my handiwork when you saw it." The fingers clench back in and she yells, "DAMNIT IVAN! I'm not you! I didn't ask for this. I didn't go fishing for this. He's attractive. There's attraction there, but I'm not a homewrecker. I don't want to be that person." Before she allows herself to get angry enough to punch something, she takes a deep breath which is slowly exhaled. "So can you please just not make a huge deal out of this, and deliver the damned rings for his sisters?"
—
"No," Ivan hisses coldly, narrowing his eyes at her, "What you're doing is the Same. Fucking. Thing. You did when you found him attacking me. Writing his behavior off as acceptable. Saying it's okay, when it's not. I've been the other person, yeah. When I was single and just looking for a lay. I've never lied to a single person I've been with. They've always known exactly what my game plan was. And, frankly? If a whore was willing to cheat with me, then I was irrelevant. It means that she would have screwed any guy that caught her attention. It means that she's just a whore, fucking with some poor guy's feelings, and if it wasn't me, it'd be with someone else. So don't you get what I'm trying to say? I'm not reprimanding you, I'm letting you know what kind of person he is. A lying, cheating scumbag. And he will remain the same person, regardless of who he's with. So, don't be dumb, Scarlett. I'm just giving you advice, otherwise you're going to have your heart broken."
Watching her, he narrows his eyes contemplatively. "Whatever. I'll do it. I've got to have a Talk with him, anyway."
—
Throughout his little spiel, her smile just keeps getting bigger. Scarlett is about to say something, but she holds off. Ivan can be harassed for his playboy status later. "I'm not being dumb, if I were being dumb, I'd be waltzing on over there with the package myself." Though there is still a matter of tango lessons on Thursday that likely need to be canceled. Ivan may be surprised by what happens next though. She actually reaches out to give her twin a hug. "Thank you. I know I don't generally run from my issues, but in this case it just seems to be the best thing to do." … "So tell me about Carter?"
—
Or former playboy status, as it is. The entire situation has left a bad taste in Ivan's mouth, and judging by his dark, thoughtful expression, the man is trying to plan his next course of action. Now, were the women involved anyone else, he'd probably leave it be. But when the possible broken heart count includes the likes of his twin sister and the twin sister of his girlfriend? Well…that's a bit more difficult for him to ignore. "No," he gruffs after a moment, begrudgingly. "No, you're not being dumb now. You're doing the right thing, as usual. I'm just warning you, Scarlett, is all. Don't let yourself get sucked into this, because you'll end up hurt one way or another."
But then, he's being hugged. He blinks once. Then twice. Then one final time, his brows arched with pure, unadulterated surprise. "I…" Gingerly, he lifts his arms up, enveloping them around his twin warmly, if a bit awkwardly. "You're welcome. You're handling it the right way, Scar. You are. And…err. What about Carter? I'm sorry - how do you know him again?"
—
Scarlett; queen of the unexpected today. The scary sisterly hug she's just given him is only held for a second or two, before she shoots him one of her patented "let us never speak of this" looks. "Helen and I literally ran into him in the park. I've seen him once or twice since then. What does he do at the office? What do you know about him? He's kind of cute in that babyface sort of way…"
—
Ivan shuffles back, and though he shoots Scarlett a curious sort of look, he allows the hug to go by without comment. "Yeah? That's…a weird coincidence." He admits, licking his lips slightly as he slumps against his kitchen counter. After a moment, his stomach growls, prompting the lad to look down to himself. "Yeah…I'm going to make myself a sandwich or something. You want something to eat? Drink maybe? Anyway, you mean Moore, right? Well, actually, he's more like the delivery boy. He's a basic assistant. A goodish kid, a guess, if a bit…lame." When she comments on his cuteness, his nose wrinkles with slight distaste. "Man. You have got messed up taste in men."
—
"It was. The poor guy ended up wearing a bit of hot chocolate, I think." Since up went her mug, all over him. "How uh, into the vampire world is he? I mean, he keen on the supernatural? Otherwise, you're likely going to get asked why some psychotic drunk bitch spouted all that crap about your sister in a bar." Scarlett told Robert not to tell anyone. She didn't say she wouldn't tell anyhow. "You leave my taste in men out of this. I was just asking a question."
—
"Actually," Ivan drawls, walking into the kitchen and swinging open the refrigerator. "I believe he's a witch. Or…exceptional in some way. I'm surprised you didn't feel it - the magic that surrounds him? But anyway, he's…less enthusiastic about the pro-vampire stance, I think." He offers thoughtfully as he collects a couple jars. Eventually, after a bag of bread is also assembled, he turns back to Scarlett. "Alright, alright. I will. I just think you can do better, is all." Beat. "Err…not because you're anything special or anything. But just by virtue of being my sister." To cover up the nice sentiment he accidentally let slip, he throws in severe arrogance.
—
"Bar full of drunks, telepath going psychotic on me," Scarlett points out dryly. Hard to focus on everything else when that's going on. "Spill it, Ivan. What's wrong with him? I mean, I know what's wrong with the Slugger, but Carter seemed nice. A bit paranoid maybe." While his back is turned, she rolls her eyes at him. "I'll take a bottle of water if you have it, otherwise I'm good. I ate a banana while I was waiting for you."
—
"That's true, yeah," Ivan allows after a moment, shooting her a wry smile as he begins to spread the heart of his peanut butter and jelly sandwich around. "Mhmm? Spill what?" And he turns, staring at Scarlett with confusion at this point. "Oh! Oh…yeah. I mean, nothing, you know? He's perfectly…bland. A bit of a spaz. But I guess you're used to that kind of stuff anyway, so…heh. Being lame and all." This time, his grin is a bit teasing. "I think there's a bottle in the fridge. Help yourself, Scar. I would, but my hands are full, and it's already too much effort for me to refrain from cracking a banana joke on you."
—
Scarlett slips around to grab a bottle from the fridge, closing the door so that he can make his sandwich. "I was hungry," comes the dry response to his could-be joke. "If there's nothing wrong with him except a bit of oddity, why are you complaining? It's not like he was in a mental institution, is it?" She freezes, quickly shooting him a look. "So not a dig at your whatever she is. Just slipped out." Before he loses it on her for that. "Besides, better a spaz than a guy who's just like you, right?"
—
"Oh, I bet you were…" Okay, so Ivan can't let that slip by without adding just a tad bit of innuendo to it. But, really, if that's all he does, it's mild compared to his usual fare. "Oh. Well, I'm not complaining," Ivan points out, just a tad bit defensive. "I was just…like I said I just thought you can do better. But, by all means, do what makes you happy. Provided it's real and not an empty happiness." That, plus the idea of his sister with anyone kind of skeeves him out a little. She is tossed a rather humorless sort of look for the mental institution jab, but he seems to let it go.
Or not. "She's not crazy, you know. And I'm not a rapist who took advantage of the mentally insane. And she's my girlfriend. And I had been meaning to talk to you about this - I would appreciate you not making her feel badly. Ever. You don't know what she's been through, and if I hear badly on your part, it will not be so easily forgiven."
—
"Alright, so a girl can't be interested in her brother's co-worker without being interested in him?" Scarlett considers for a second, then laughs. "Iv, you've got relationships on the brain. I barely know the guy, other than he works with you at the mayor's office. He gave me his number last night, I was just checking if it was cool to call. I would like to invite him out for coffee and at least partially explain what the hell was going on last night." Her, acting like the busybody, then punching someone, then nearly breaking her wrist. "I think the incident may have scared him or something, he bolted pretty fast."
Then he sort of goes off on her, and she grips the bottle of water in her good hand. "She's not crazy, but she's mentally insane. Oookay." A more serious look is given to him though. "I've met her, she's a bit twitchy. But I wouldn't have sent her to you with that picture if I didn't approve. No matter her issues. If you're happy, you're happy." Granted, she does believe it'll be like all his other "girlfriends" in the past, and won't last long.
—
"I…did you just hear yourself?" Ivan inquires, blinking at Scarlett as he reaches to top off the jars and even take a bite out of his sandwich. A few hasty bites later, and he swallows, clearing his mouth for further discussion. "I don't know, Scarlett. Can you be interested in someone without being interested in them? That's such a girl thing to say. But, ah? Yeah. I think it's cool to call. And, no. I said she's not crazy, nor is she mentally insane. Just like I'm not a rapist. God, keep up." Here, he rolls his orbs liberally, leaning back to continue eating his sandwich. "She has more then a good enough reason to be twitchy. And I wasn't looking for your approval, just cooperation. Just don't make her feel uncomfortable or give her a hard time."
—
A rewind noise is made, and Scarlett mutters the entirety of what she just said again. "Yes, I did hear myself. I'm pretty sure you can be interested in learning about someone without being romantically interested in them. Ever hear of thing called friendship between opposite sexes?" There is a brief struggle with the bottle as she tries not to strain her wrist too much. The bottle is lifted to her lips, cool water going down her throat. "Wait, I forgot. You're Ivan. There's no such thing." Her turn to roll the eyes again. "Whatever you say. By the way, when you make that delivery? There's a caveat with it. No guarantees that they'll work. I've never tried this sort of spell before and I have no way of testing to see if it works."
—
Ivan quirks the corner of his lips upwards with mild amusement, leaning up against the counter as he lifts the sandwich once more to his mouth. As he chews, there is a suspiciously mischievous gleam to the look in his eyes. "Impossible," he declares, and it's difficult to tell if he's actually joking or not - but there is a sort of exaggerated flair to his words. But then again, Ivan can be quite theatrical. "Friendship serves as a function in basic mating rituals. And when you're me, it's all or nothing, baby. Anyway, I was making fun of you for your choice of words. Even though, I don't know. You don't usually come to me before pursuing friends. You didn't with whats his face." Chomp chomp. "Eh? Oh! Caveat, right…you know, you're a geek sometimes. Who uses the word caveat? But, I'll tell him. What kind of spells were you trying?"
—
"Werewolf protection." Scarlett sets the half-full bottle of water onto the counter, then starts toward her bag. "I'm fairly sure I got it right. Ritual before the moon changed and all that, but there's no way of telling unless the rings are actually in the presence of one, and I wasn't about to go wandering around looking." From everything she's ever heard, werewolves aren't exactly the type of creatures to be trifled with. "The only reason I brought it up was because I thought you might find it awkward for me to become friends with one of your co-workers."
—
Ivan nods then, pursing his lips slightly. "Werewolf protection, eh? Huh. Whatever happened to the good old days, where the things that went bump in the night remained well-hidden? Anyway, I'll deliver the message and the parcel. Do you have it for me now?" The last of the sandwich is popped into his mouth, and he ends up leaning back slightly as he chews down the final bits. "Mhmm? Yeah, yeah, whatever. Be friends with whoever you'd like, it's cool with me. I'm sure you'll get along. You can spend all your time looking at…I don't know, floral arrangements and gabbing about your mutual dislike of me."
—
"Put two and two together, Ivan. His parents were attacked by a wolf, that magically got into their house. No open windows, nothing broken. That leapt out and bit them." Scarlett motions toward the small package beside the hamster food. "I think that things can only remain hidden for so long when they're going to act out so blatantly. Like that bitchy drunk telepath last night." Shaking her head, she slings her bag over her shoulder and then starts for the door. If he's only back for lunch, time's almost up. "Now that sounds like a plan. Maybe I'll call him just to do that."
—
"Sorry," Ivan comments dryly, allowing his lips to curl up with bemusement. "I'm not as well versed in poor ol' Bobert's life as you are. I knew his father died, and that's it. Anyway why don't…" Beat. What erupts now is a broad, playful laugh. "Say, what? You'll call him about the floral arrangements? Really?" Already, he's heading towards the door himself, key in hand. "Jesus. You're even lamer then I thought."
—
"I meant I'd call him to bond over mutual dislike," Scarlett says, a parting shot as she rushes toward, then out the door. Her cellular phone is already out of her bag, fingers pressing buttons while she holds a small card in the other. "Thanks," she calls back, stepping into the stairwell. Everyone knows you can't make a great call in the elevator.
